


Forbidden Part 1

by NightSymphony



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-12
Updated: 2019-11-12
Packaged: 2021-01-29 13:54:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21411253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NightSymphony/pseuds/NightSymphony
Relationships: Cullen Rutherford/Female Surana, Female Inquisitor/Cullen Rutherford
Kudos: 10





	1. Chapter 1

Cullen's heart felt like it would beat right out of his chest. He could see her approaching at the other end of the hall. Every time he was near her he felt light-headed. He couldn’t speak properly; he couldn’t even look at her. She must think him a complete fool. He must not run away; he had to stand guard of this room. She smiled at him softly as she drew near. Those beautiful red lips, so full and soft. She stopped in front of him, her emerald green eyes looking up at him. He was taller than she was.

“Hello, Cullen.” She said, he almost melted. He took a deep breath.

“H…hello, Surana.” He looked down the hall. They were the only two there. No one ever came this way. What was she doing here? He couldn’t look at her.

“I’m glad your Harrowing went smoothly. Th…They picked me as the Templar to strike the killing blow, if you became an abomination. It’s nothing personal; I swear! I’m just glad you’re alright, you know.”

“Would you really have struck me down, Cullen?” She was still smiling, teasing. She bit her bottom lip slightly and twirled a strand of her long black hair around her right index finger.

“I… umm.” He gulped. “I would have felt terrible about it, but, umm… I serve the Chantry and The Maker, and I will do as commanded!” He was blushing; it was getting really hot under all this armor. She laughed.

“Grand Enchanter Irving gave me the day off. I thought that, maybe you could show me this stock room you are always guarding. What’s in there that makes you so serious all the time? It must be something really important.” She turned away and approached the locked door next to him.

“Umm. I don’t know what’s in there, but I can’t open the door. Orders, y…you know.” He looked down at his feet.

“Oh, Cullen, aren’t you even a little bit curious why you have to stand here every single day and guard this room?” She was pouting, he could hear it in her voice. He didn’t want to disappoint her. He looked down the hall again, empty and it would remain empty for many hours. No one would know if he opened the room and took a peek. He had the key. He took a deep breath and took the key out of his pocket, almost dropping it in the process.

“Alright, Surana, but just for a moment. You don’t want me to get in trouble, do you?” 

“Oh, Cullen. Of course not.” She giggled as he fumbled with the lock a few moments before opening the door. It was dark, but as soon as he took a step inside a single candle magically caught on fire and filled the room with a soft glow. It was a small room, shelves filled with old textbooks and parchment-lined the back wall. Blankets and robes were folded in piles all over the floor. Surana laughed and pushed him into the room; she stepped in after and closed the door behind them. 

“Hmmph! There is nothing important in here. You should complain, having to guard this stupid room is a waste.” There was barely enough room for the two of them to stand next to each other without stepping on something. He could smell her hair, lavender. He sighed. Suddenly she pushed him against the only wall that didn’t have a shelf on it. She stood on her tiptoes so she could look into his eyes. 

“I’ve seen you watching me, Cullen. I know how you feel about me.” Her breath was warm against his skin. He gulped, he tried to turn away but there wasn’t enough room. 

“I…umm…” He stammered, unsure of what to say, unsure of what to do. She laughed she pressed her body against his armor. She lifted her right hand and ran her fingers lightly over his cheek.

“I feel the same way.” She whispered and leaned forward, brushing her lips against his. His eyes opened wide, his heart raced. This was forbidden! If anyone just so happened to open the door and see them they would both be in serious trouble. The possibility excited him even as it scared him. He knew no one would open that door. No one ever opened that door. He gave in and wrapped his arms around her, pressing his lips to hers. She tasted like strawberries, wild strawberries that used to grow in his family's garden. She forced his mouth open with her tongue. He moaned softly as their tongues swirled around each other. She broke the kiss.

“Touch me.” She whispered. He struggled to remove his gauntlets so his hands would be free to feel her, to touch her. They fell to the floor with a clang; they both gasped and listened. Surely someone heard that, but no one came. He lifted his hands to her face; she closed her eyes. He couldn’t believe this was happening; this had to be a dream. She kissed the tips of fingers as they brushed her lips. His hands moved down her body and rested at her hips. He cursed his Templar armor, blocking the feel of her body against his. She shared in his frustration.

“Tonight, at midnight meet me in this room. No one guards this hallway at night.” She slipped away from him and walked to the door. “Don’t wear your armor.” She winked at him before opening the door and stepping out into the hallway; he could hear her footsteps as she walked away. He stood there a moment, did that just happen? They had only been in that room maybe ten minutes, but it seemed like much longer. He sighed and put his gauntlets back on. He could still smell her hair as he left the room and locked the door behind him. Would he actually meet her back here at midnight? He knew he shouldn’t, but he also knew he would. She was like a desire demon and he could not resist her. He was still nervous, but his heart slowed down. What time was it? This was the longest shift in his life.


	2. Forbidden Part 2

Cullen was in a daze for the rest of the day, the feel of Surana’s lips against his the only thought on his mind. He removed his armor, put on clean clothes and sat on the edge of his bed. In a few hours he would meet her and he would feel her in his arms again. Anticipation mixed with fear; he needed to pray. He ran out of his room and towards the chapel.

As Cullen entered the chapel he saw a mage and an initiate whispering in the corner. He recognized the mage as being one of Surana’s friends, Jowan. He had thought Jowan and her were lovers since they were always together, but now he wasn’t so sure. The initiate he recognized as well; her name was Lily and he often saw her in the chapel. Cullen eyed them suspiciously for a moment; they seemed to be standing awfully close to each other. He shook his head and almost laughed at himself. Here he was, about to have a forbidden affair with a mage and he was judging them. He ignored them and knelt before the altar, closed his eyes and prayed to the Maker for forgiveness. In a few hours, he would sin. He would once again be alone in that storeroom with Surana. He knew he didn’t have to meet her there, he could stay in his room and sleep. He prayed for the strength he did not have. He knew he was going to go there; he would meet her and they would do Maker knows what in that room. He had never been in this situation before, never been with a woman before. He prayed for hours when the clock chimed. It was midnight and it was time to go. He felt sick, but he managed to get up. He left the chapel and headed for the stock room, making a small mental note that Jowan and Lily were still there as he passed.

Cullen stopped as he saw her standing in front of the stock room door. She was wearing a long, white cotton nightgown and no shoes. Her long black hair was in a braid and tied with a white ribbon. He thought she looked even more beautiful now than he did last time he saw her. She ran to him and wrapped her arms around him, resting her head on his shoulder. He could feel her heart beating, it was almost as fast at his. They stood there a moment, in eachother’s arms before she pulled away and ran back to the door.

“Hurry, Cullen, before someone sees us.” She whispered. He ran to the door and unlocked it, the candle lighting the room as they entered, and closed the door behind them. They stood there, in silence, looking around the small room. Now what? She was the first one to move; she pushed some of stacks of robes and blankets out of the way, making room so they could lie down. He helped her unfolded one of the blankets and smooth it out so it covered the floor. She stood in front of him, once again wrapping her arms around his waist and looking up into his eyes. She smiled.

“I was starting to think you weren’t going to show up. Cullen. Have you ever…?” She blushed and looked away. “Have you ever done anything like this before? I haven’t. I have an older sister back home, she used to tell all about the things that she would do with the boys. I was always too shy, but I saw the way you looked at me and… I want you to be my first.” She looked back up at him.

Cullen was lost in her eyes for a moment before answering her. “No I… You’ll be my first too. I never thought…” She interrupted his words with a soft kiss and he returned it. She began to unbutton his shirt. He let her go as she kissed his chest, her tongue licking ever so slightly. He sighed deeply as she worked her way down. She knelt before him and unbuttoned his pants, her tongue swirling around his belly button. Her hand slid down into his pants and played with the hair she found there. He moaned softly; his legs were becoming weak at her touch and he leaned back against the wall. "You like that?" She whispered and he nodded. Her hand continued to play as she worked her way back up, kissing and licking, stopping at his neck. He removed his shirt and placed his hands on her waist. She stood on her tiptoes and kissed him, deeply and passionately, her tongue forcing it’s way into his mouth. Her hand slid down further into his pants; her fingertips brushing against the soft skin of his penis. He moaned into her mouth and she wrapped her fingers around and squeezed; he almost fell over. She laughed against his lips, let go of his penis and removed his pants. 

“Lie down.” She whispered. He did as he was told. The stone floor was a little cold under the blanket but he was hot, so very hot. He looked up at her as she removed her nightgown.

She stood there and looked down at him. She was completely naked. The light from the candle made the shadows dance on her pale skin. She blushed at the way he looked at her, approval mixed with desire. She laid down beside him and he rolled over onto his side and just looked at her. “Maker forgive me for what I am about to do.” He whispered before running his hand down her body. Her skin was so soft, like the petals of a freshly bloomed flower. She lifted her head and kissed him just like before. Their tongues swirled around each other as his hand found the small patch of hair between her legs. Now it was her turn to moan, but only a moment before she pulled him on top of her. The feeling of her body under his was more than he could take. He slid his hands under her and placed them on her butt cheeks, digging his fingers into her skin and lifting her lower body up to him. He felt his penis against her pubic hair and moaned again; she echoed his moan. She wrapped her legs around his waist and dug her fingernails into his back. He hissed a little at the pain, the very enjoyable pain. He was hard and she was wet; it was time.

Cullen knew what to do, but he didn’t quite know how to do it. He moved his hips against her, trying to slide his penis into her but it just wouldn’t happen. He blushed. 

“I’m sorry, Surana. You’ll need to help me.” He felt like a complete fool. "It's alright." She smiled and moved her hand down in-between their bodies and found his penis; she kissed him softly, wrapped her fingers around it and moved it so the tip was hovering right over her vagina. She removed her hand and arched her back, lifting her body up so his penis went inside. They both moaned together; he pushed himself further inside and stopped, looking down at her. It hurt a little, he could tell. "Do you want me to continue?" He asked. She nodded. He slowly moved his hips back and forth. She moved slowly with him. They looked into each other's eyes and they moved together a little faster. She moaned softly as tiny orgasms moved through her body. Faster and faster, he couldn’t hold it much longer. "Cullen!" She screamed, urging him to go faster and then he felt it. He moaned loudly, almost screamed as he climaxed. She held onto him tightly echoing his moan. He collapsed on top of her. They remained still, holding on to the moment for a long time; neither one spoke. He lifted his head and looked at her; her eyes were closed and a soft smile played on her lips. He rolled off of her. She opened her eyes and turned her head to look at him and he turned his head to look at her.

“That was amazing.” He whispered. She laughed and brushed her fingers over his chest. "Yes it was, I never imagined it would be like that." He rolled over onto his side and kissed her softly. He never wanted this moment to end. How could something that felt so good be a sin? He actually felt rather silly for worrying about it so much before. This was a natural thing. If it was forbidden and sinful, the Maker would have created them differently. It didn’t matter that she was a mage and he was a Templar, she was a woman and he was a man. They fit together, perfectly. 

“Cullen… Cullen…” He had fallen asleep; he slowly opened his eyes. Surana was sitting next to him; she had her nightgown back on. “Cullen, wake up. It’s almost morning!” What?! He quickly sat up, almost in a panic. She helped him get dressed. They folded the blanket they had sex on and stashed it behind one of the shelves. They both took a deep breath and laughed. They moved to the door and she stood on her tiptoes and kissed him. He returned the kiss, filling it with passion and a little sadness. The night was almost over; this was almost over.

“Cullen, don’t be sad. There is almost tomorrow night.” She giggled and pinched his butt. He jumped.

“Hey!!” He spanked her butt softly. Her eyes opened wide in shock.

“Not shy anymore, now are we?” She laughed and kissed him before turning and opening the door and stepping out into the hallway. He followed and locked the door. They had two hours before the clock would chime and wake everyone up. “We should go get cleaned up while we still have time. I’ll see you later, Cullen.” She winked at him and walked away.

He watched her go and sighed. Why did it feel like seeing her later was never going to happen? Why did it feel like they would never have a moment like this again? He wanted to run after her, but he did not. He waited a few minutes and then walked towards the bathing rooms to get cleaned up, lost in thought.


	3. Forbidden Part 3

There he was, guarding the stock room once again. It didn’t bother him as much this time. Cullen smiled to himself; he was guarding a secret now. The day slowly went by, thoughts of Surana and their passionate night together kept his mind busy, but as his shift was nearing it’s end he began to wonder why she hadn’t visited him yet. Maybe she was sleeping the day away, maybe she was kept busy with her studies. Or, maybe she had thought about their lovemaking and decided he was terrible at it and she didn’t want anything more to do with him. He shook his head. No, he must not think that. She had seemed rather pleased with the whole event.

Cullen heard the sound of armor covered footsteps running towards him. It was a fellow Templar named Orick. Orick often teased him about his crush on Surana, which Cullen found ironic since Orick was having an affair with a mage as well. It seemed like everyone was sleeping with someone.

“Oh good, you’re still here, which means you haven’t heard.” Orick spoke while trying to catch his breath. “Surana, she’s leaving!”

“What?!” Cullen began to sweat under his armor. Surana was leaving? Why? Had someone seen them? “Tell me what happened, NOW!”

“Her friend, Jowan, turns out he’s a blood mage. He escaped a few hours ago. Surana helped him along with some initiate. I was there. Jowan hurt a lot of people in his escape. Knight Commander Greagoir and First Enchanter Irving were talking about what to do about her, but that Grey Warden that arrived yesterday, he stepped in and conscripted Surana. Surana is going to become a Grey Warden. She’s packing right now!”

All the blood seemed to rush out of his body. He leaned back against the wall to keep from falling. Jowan, a blood mage? He didn't seem the kind, and if Surana helped him, was she a blood mage too? How could she do something like that?! He was sure there was a reasonable explanation, there had to be. It was one thing to be in love with a mage, but a blood mage! No, it was not possible! He had to see her before she left. He left his post and ran down the hall; he was about to go down the stairs when he saw Surana running up. Her eyes were red; she had been crying. She ran into his arms.

“Oh, Cullen. Something horrible has happened. I have to leave.” She was almost hysterical. He held her a little reluctantly.

“I already heard, I was coming to see you.”

“Jowan, he lied to me. He promised me he wasn’t a blood mage. He promised! He found out they were going to make him tranquil. I couldn’t let that happen! He was my friend.” She was sobbing, her body shaking. He grabbed her arms.

"I need to know, Surana. Are you, a blood mage too?" His heart raced, not sure he wanted to know the answer. Her eyes opened wide and she took a step back.

"NO, I would never do something like that! Blood magic is evil." His grip on her arms tightened. "Ow, Cullen. You're hurting me."

"But you helped him escape. I know he was your friend, but how could you?! Did you even think this through? Why would they just make him Tranquil for no reason? You know I'm a Templar. What if they make me go after him. What if I have to kill him, what if he killed ME?" He was yelling. She couldn't look at him as his words cut into her.

"I.. He told me it was because of the rumors that he's a blood mage. I never thought he could really be one. He only wanted me to help him destroy his phylactery. He and Lily were going to escape together. I didn't know he's a blood mage, I swear! I know I should have told someone. I’m sorry, Cullen. I really screwed up.”

He believed her. He had to believe her, if she was lying... no! She wasn't! Not his sweet, Surana. Not the woman he just made love to last night. No!

He leaned forward and softly kissed her tear covered lips. She kissed him back, her lips trembling against his. This would be their last kiss, he knew. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her deeper, pouring so many different feelings into the kiss. He cursed his armor, keeping him from feeling her as he held her. She broke the kiss and let him go. “Cullen, I have to go.”

“Surana…” He let go of her and unclasped the Templar pendant from around his neck. He then placed it around her neck and clasped it shut. “Take this with you, so you never forget me.” She smiled softly and brushed her fingertips across his cheek.

“I could never forget you, Cullen.” She turned and went down the stairs and out of his life.

Orik had been there the whole time, but Cullen didn't care. "Cullen, what if she really is a blood mage?" He didn't want to hear it.

"No! She's not! I believe her. I have to believe her." He went down the stairs and to the chapel. He had to pray, a lot.


	4. Forbidden Part 4

Cullen was in pain, in mind, body, and spirit. He had seen so many people he knew slaughtered by demons, abominations, and blood mages. They had played around in his mind, clawing around for memories they could use against him. He fought them all, keeping his mind blank. A desire demon had almost won, changing shape before him. Surana? No! It wasn’t her! He pushed the demon out of his mind, it screamed and returned to its original form before leaving him alone. He was the only one still alive in this small room, bloody bodies lay around him. He was trapped there, a magical force field keeping him prisoner. His tormentors left long ago.

Time went by and he caught himself drifting off to sleep. He must not sleep, he must be in control of his mind. The moment he dreamed the demons would come in. He heard fighting outside the room, someone was coming. It was… Surana? No! It had to be another demon!!

“This trick again? I know what you are. It won’t work. I will stay strong.” He knelt down and closed his eyes, praying.

“Cullen? Cullen, it’s Surana. Don’t you remember me?” It was her voice. No! This was a trick, it couldn’t be her.

“Only too well!” He placed his hands on his head, trying to block her out. “How far they must have delved into my thoughts. Enough visions!” He yelled. “If anything in you is human, kill me know and stop this game! You broke the others, but I will stay strong! Sifting through my thoughts, tempting me with the one thing I always wanted but could never have. Using my shame against me, my feelings for her, a mage of all things!”

He heard someone speak, someone he did not know. He looked up. There were other people in the room. An old woman he thought he recognized as someone from the circle, a young man dressed in knight armor and a woman with red hair, holding a bow. Why would the demons be showing him people he did not know?

“I am tired of these cruel jokes, these tricks, these…” He was breaking, the demons were winning. His voice cracked, he couldn’t take it any longer.

“Cullen, it really is me!” Her voice again.

“Silence! I will not listen to anything to say, demon. Now begone!” He stood up and looked at her, she wasn’t leaving. The others usually left by now. “You’re still here, but that always worked before. I close my eyes but you are still here when I open them.”

“Yes, Cullen. I am still here and I am not leaving. I think you need to calm down.”

“I am beyond caring what you think! The Maker knows my sin and I pray he will forgive me.” Tears escaped his eyes.

“Your sin? Cullen, I thought we were…” Her voice broke and she looked away. It was really her. If she had shown up a week ago he would have been happy to see her.

“When you knew me, I was an innocent. I wanted to be a knight, but I never really thought about why we were needed. Now, my eyes have been opened. The naivete I once had is gone forever!" He sighed. "I welcome the change as long as it helps me better serve the Chantry. You are a mage and I am a Templar! It is my duty to oppose you and all you are!” His voice was so cold, it shocked him. Surana stepped back, her hands hovering over her chest.

“Why have you returned to the tower? How did you survive? Was it blood magic?” He glared at her. 

“No! I told you before I am NOT a blood mage! Is it really so odd to see me here, Cullen? I came to help, this was my home."

“As it was mine! Look what they have done to it! They all deserve to die, Uldred most of all!” His voice filled with rage. “They caged us like animals, looked for ways to break us. I’m the only one left. They turned some into monsters, there was nothing I could do.” His lips trembled and he covered his face with his hands.

“Be grateful it wasn’t you.” Said the old woman who was standing behind Surana. He looked up at her.

“Don’t think I’m not grateful, but why should I live when all my friends lie dead, their bodies and spirits broken? And to think, I once thought he were hard on you!” He shook his head in disbelief.

“We’re not all evil, Cullen. You know I’m not.” Surana stepped up, just inches away. The force field blocking her from touching him. He was actually glad it was there for once.

“Do I? Only mages have this much power at their fingertips. Only mages are so susceptible to the infernal whisperings of the demons. For all I know, you didn’t pass your harrowing! You could have been a desire demon all this time! You knew exactly what to do, what to say to get me to…to…” He couldn't bring himself to say it.

“Cullen. I…” A single tear rolled down her cheek, she did not bother to wipe it away.

“No! You are right, not all mages are evil, some fought back, but Uldred has them now. They are in the Harrowing Chamber. The sounds coming from there…” His voice shook and he looked down. “Oh Maker… He’s doing something to them. I can feel it, something horrible!”

The man that stood behind Surana spoke but he wasn’t listening. “You have to end it now, before it’s too late!!”

“I will not kill innocent people, Cullen!”

“Are you really saving anyone by taking this risk? To ensure the horror has ended, to guarantee that no abominations or blood mages live, you must kill everyone up there!” He was yelling again.

“I cannot decide on that until I see what’s going on.” She was so clam, she wasn't listening and it infuriated him.

“That is your choice, but I beg you to consider what I have to say. You cannot tell maleficarum by sight. Just one could influence the mind of a king, or a grand cleric. You could be influenced now!”

“I have made my decision, Cullen.” He gave up trying to argue with her, she obviously wasn't going to change her mind.

“Maker turn his gaze on you. I hope your compassion hasn’t doomed us all!” He sighed.

“I’ll come back for you...”

“Don’t worry about me! Once you kill Uldred this prison will be no more.” He watched her turn away and climb the stairs, the others followed. She could die up there. His heart hurt but his brain was numb. A week ago, he had loved her and he would have begged her not to go. Now, she was just a mage like the others. He sat down and waited.

It seemed that he waited a long time before he heard anything. A very loud and angry scream followed by sounds of spells being cast. He heard people yelling and screams of terror. He didn't want to listen, he shut his eyes tightly and pressed his hands to his ears. Suddenly, the whole tower seemed to shake, the force field disappeared and he was free to leave, but he didn’t leave. He had to know what happened. A few moments later he heard people coming down the stairs, he instinctively reached for his sword before remembering he did not have one. First Enchanter Irving was leaning against Surana for support. Her companions followed, as well as a couple mages. He felt sick, she hadn't listened to him. They were all too tired to speak, they just nodded at each other. He had to get out of here. Cullen followed them through the halls littered with bodies of the fallen. He did not look at them for fear he might recognize someone. He wondered how Surana had defeated Uldred. It had to have been blood magic. She had been lying to him all this time. They all entered the main hall together. Knight Commander Greagoir looked relieved to see them.

“Irving? Maker’s breath, I did not expect to see you alive.” Greagoir patted Irving on the back.

“It is over, Greagoir. Uldred is dead.” Irving’s voice cracked a little.

Cullen approached them. “Uldred tortured these mages hoping to break their wills and turn them into abominations. We don’t know how many have been turned!”

“What? Don’t be ridiculous!” Irving said.

“Of course he’ll say that. They might all be blood mages! Don’t you know what they did? I won’t let this happen again!” Cullen yelled, his head was pounding.

“I am the knight commander here, not you!” Greagoir glared at Cullen.

“What will you do now?” Surana asked Irving.

“We will rebuild. The Circle will go on and we will learn from this tragedy and be strengthened by it.” Irving answered.

“We have won back the tower. I will accept Irving's assurance that all is well.” Greagoir replied.

“But they may have demons within them, lying dormant…lying in wake!!” Cullen pleaded. 

“Enough! I have already made my decision! Cullen, you are excused. Go get some rest.” Greagoir commanded.

“Yes, Sir.” Cullen was defeated, he bowed a little, turned and walked away. He did not look at Surana as he passed by. He entered the hallway, people were already starting to clean up and remove the bodies. He felt sick, no one was listening. He prayed he was wrong about the mages and about Surana, but he would never trust them again. He walked past the chapel, so many inside the small room, praying. He sighed and went up to his room to rest like he had been ordered to do.

Cullen entered his chambers. He had shared it with Orick, but Orick was dead. So many were dead. He picked up a glass that was sitting on his dresser and threw it against the wall. He watched it shatter into a million pieces. That's how he felt, shattered. Cullen slowly removed his blood-covered armor, every muscle in his body screamed at him. He needed to calm down, there was nothing he could do. He sat on his bed and began to clean the blood from his armor.

A knock at the door, he glanced up as Surana entered. He went back to cleaning, he did not want her there. He was actually surprised she was there after everything he said to her.

“Cullen, I… I just wanted to make sure you were alright. I mean, I know you’re not, but I had to see you one more time. If only I had come sooner.” If only...

“I wish you hadn’t come at all, Surana. I really hope that years from now this doesn’t happen again because you couldn’t kill Irving and those other mages!" He lifted his head to look at her. "You, you should be dead as well.”

She was silent, a look of disbelief on her face. “I’m sorry,” she whispered as she took the pendant he gave her out from under her robe and unclasped it; she walked over to him and placed the pendant next to him on the bed. “I can’t keep this knowing now how you really feel about me.” Tears filled her eyes and she turned and ran out of the room.

Cullen looked at the pendant and sighed. He regretted some of those words; he didn’t want to hurt her, but he also couldn’t change how he now felt. That love that was in his heart had turned to hatred. He took the pendant and placed it in his dresser. He sat back down and went back to cleaning his armor.


	5. Forbidden Part 5: The Future

Cullen looked at the sleeping, naked woman lying next to him in his bed. Ten years had passed since the events at the Circle. So much had happened; he was no longer the man he was back then. He had thought he could never love a mage after Surana, but he was wrong. He had been wrong about so many things.

He turned his head to look up at the ceiling, his mind swimming with thoughts of the past. After the events at the Circle, he could no longer watch the mages without feeling hatred. Knight-Commander Greagoir knew this and sent him away to Kirkwall to serve under Knight-Commander Meredith. At first, he got along very well with Meredith. They shared the same views towards mages, they were evil and could not be trusted. He became her second in command. During this time, he had heard news of Surana. She and a fellow Grey Warden had ended the Blight and she was a hero. Songs of her deeds were sung at the taverns and her wedding to Alistair was even celebrated there at Kirkwall. He spoke of his feelings towards Surana to no one and over time that hatred he had felt for her dimmed to regret. He wondered if he would ever get to apologize for all those horrible things he had said to her.

During his time at Kirkwall, he had met another mage named Hawke. She had helped him on several occasions and she helped turn his hatred towards mages into compassion. Hawke helped him open his eyes. Meredith had been taking things too far, mages were often punished for things they did not do, some had even been turned Tranquil. A blind eye had been turned towards Templars who beat or raped mages. No wonder they turned to blood magic. When the mages rebelled, he turned his back on Meredith, who had clearly lost her mind. He joined Hawke and helped kill his former commander.

In the few years that followed, Cullen rallied the remaining Templars to try and restore order to Kirkwall, but his heart was no longer in it. When Seeker Pentaghast approached him to oversee military concerns for The Conclave, he gladly accepted. It was a chance for peace between mages and Templars, a cause he now believed in. Not all mages were evil. There had to be a better way.

The explosion killed so many, some people he knew. Flashbacks to the Circle filled his dreams. He had stopped taking lyrium, he no longer wanted any ties to his former life. It was time to start over, but the dreams refused. Julianna helped stop those dreams. The Harald of Andraste. He wasn't sure if he believed that, but he did believe the Maker had sent her to help close the rift and to help end the war. She was a mage, of course she was. When he first met her, he did not trust her. Over time, those feelings changed. She helped so many people, so many people put their lives in her hands and she never backed down. She flirted with him often, and he flirted back. She wanted to know more about him, and she listened. She helped him get over his lyrium addiction. They became good friends and eventually, he grew to love her. He had fallen in love with a mage.

The moon cast it’s light upon her tanned skin; Cullen leaned over and kissed her shoulder. She smiled in her sleep and he smiled, wondering what she was dreaming about. He treasured moments like this. They didn’t have much time to spend together; they were both so busy with Inquisition duties. He brushed a couple strands of her red hair away from her face. Every time she left Skyhold he worried, worried that she would never return. Julianna stirred; her light green eyes opened and looked up at him.

“Can’t sleep?” She asked. “You should be exhausted.” She smirked. Julianna had been away for several days on a very important mission. When she returned they had made mad, passionate love for many hours. He had been wanting to ask her a question. He had it all planned out in his mind, but when she ran to his arms and kissed him with so much fire, he couldn’t contain himself. He laughed and kissed her nose.

“No, I just have a lot on my mind. I had somehow thought that you killing Corypheus would give us more time together, yet it seems we are both busier now than ever before.” He sighed and watched her as she sat up; the blanket that had been covering her slipped down and uncovered her marvelous breasts. He stared at them a moment before leaning forward and kissing her softly. She kissed him back and ran her fingers through his hair.

“Julianna?” He whispered against her lips, it was so tempting to make love to her again, but he needed to know. He moved away from her lips and looked into her sleepy eyes. “I need to ask you something, something I’ve been wanting to ask for a long time. I just…we’ve both been so busy and I…" He sighed and looked away, slightly embarrassed. “Maker’s Breath, I planned this all out, every word and now I’m stuttering like a fool!”

“You know you can ask me anything, Cullen.” She placed her hand on his cheek and turned his head to face her. She smiled at him.

“Alright, here it goes.” He looked into her eyes again and took a deep breath. “Will you marry me?”

He searched her face, trying to see what she was thinking. Her eyes opened wide; she was fully awake now. Her smile got bigger and she quickly wrapped her arms around him. “Oh Cullen, of course I will marry you!”

“You will? Really?” He jumped up out of bed and ran to the window and yelled loudly at the world. “SHE SAID YES!!” He stood there a moment before he realized he was naked and people could probably see him, but he was too happy to care. She laughed and he turned around and ran back to her. “You have made me the happiest man in the world!”

He jumped back into bed with her and kissed her so deeply, so passionately and she kissed back with equal passion. When the kiss ended, he gathered her to him, cradling her ever so close, knowing he would never let her go.

“Goodnight, my future wife. I love you.” He whispered before closing his eyes. 

“I love you too. Goodnight, my future husband.” She closed her eyes and fell asleep.

He listened to her breath for a few minutes before he also fell asleep. No more nightmares, only sweet dreams of his future with Julianna and the children they would have.


End file.
